Life as a bodybuilder isn’t easy, and much less so for the “normal” people in our lives.
And for any girl wanting to date a bodybuilder, there will be some strenuous requirements for her to pass. We’ve gone ahead and listed some of the more challenging aspects that come along with dating a bodybuilder.
1. Our schedules are planned around meal timing and training
If girls think that they can just call or text us and expect us to show up without a day’s notice, then they’re in for a bucket of disappointment.
See, we can’t just simply go out on a whim. We’ve got our meals planned (and actually look forward to it), and if it’s not our meals then it’s the gym.
Once you know which body part you’re going to train, you build up an expectation for that workout – an expectation that cannot be equaled by any girl at that moment in time.
2. A late night is 10pm
Long gone are the days of partying up until 4am the next morning. No more staying up late watching TV or playing videogames.
If we don’t stay up till midnight for an intense game of CoD, then there’s no way we’ll do it snuggling up next to you, ladies.
You may ask why that is – the answer is simple: GAINS!
The more we sleep, the more we grow. It doesn’t get much easier than that.
3. The gym takes priority over whatever you wanted to do
“Sorry, babe, it’s back & bi’s for me today”. It’s not just that we like to unleash our testosterone and throw weights around, it’s actually become a big part of our life.
The iron was there before you came into our lives, and chances are it’ll be there long after you’re gone (unless she’s your swolemate).
Besides, the whole reason she’s dating you is because you lift. Take that away and you’re Christian Bale from The Mechanic. And then she goes ahead and leaves you because you’re not the beast you used to be.
4. Our low-carb days are equal to your “time of the month”
Ladies, you think it’s bad when you have your periods? We gym monks have low carb “periods” up to twice a week when we’re dropping the body fat.
You might think it’s roid rage, but really it’s just us being hungry for some good old carbohydrates.
During the no-carb part of the day, it is wise to not whine or ask us any idiotic questions.
You have been warned.
5. We get most of the attention
It’s true that most of us started lifting because we wanted to heap in the chicks (Whether we’ll admit it or not).
But in reality all we got was attention from other bros mirin’ our gains, brah. However, when we’re in our shredded body-fat-below-4% state, we get attention from all kinds of species of life.
So it doesn’t really matter if we’re bulking at 10% body fat or shredded at 4, we get most of the attention wherever we go – and we absolutely want it! This is just something girls will have to learn to deal with if you plan on sticking through for the long run.
6. You’ll most likely end up eating alone
So we’ve managed to open up an hour of our time (between meals and training) to spend with you and you wanted to go out for lunch. Don’t expect us to indulge with you. You want to eat something, go ahead.
This place doesn’t serve 150 grams chicken breast and 2 cups of rice from their menu, so we’re not eating anything, thanks.
7. Our social lives are made and maintained in the gym
It’s human nature to socialise with people who are like-minded. Therefore we spend time with our bros in the gym, who only have one thing on their minds: to make as many gains as possible.
You won’t catch us slipping in a club surrounded by drunk, skinny-chubby people.
8. An ideal date means going to the gym, followed by a post-workout cheat meal
Every bodybuilder dreams about having a girl who would join them for an intense training session followed by some dirty food. Ladies, if you really want to be romantic, do this:
Find out when your bodybuilder man is having his next cheat day, then train with him and take him out for pizza and burgers afterwards.
Guys, you can thank me later.
9. We have no fear of losing you
It’s not that we don’t care for you or anything, it’s just that our gains are pretty important too. Losing a girl who we’ve only dated for a couple months is nothing compared to losing our gains that we’ve made over the last couple of years. There simply is just no comparison.
The fear of losing gains outweighs the fear of losing chicks.
10. 90% of our income is spent on food, supplements and a gym membership
This is the basic breakdown of our financial spending’s explained: 15% of our income goes to our gym membership, 30% goes toward supplements, another 30% towards food, 15% for miscellaneous, and the last 10% mostly on clothes and some on you.
So don’t feel bad when we don’t overwhelm you with gifts of affection. If fact, it should be the other way around. Us allowing you to be around our bodies alone is the ultimate gift.